By thebigeasy59 on January 23rd, 2010 (more posts by author)

I've been watching LOST with my roommates constantly for the last like week-10 days in preparation for the season 6 premiere. We've marathonned the entire series and only have like 4 episodes left in season 5 to finish. I don't know if this kind of thing has happened to anyone else, but using poker as an example, when I first started playing a lot, I would have dreams about poker; well I've been having LOST dreams lately. I was fine with the dreams; it's a healthy obsession, and it serves as an entertaining creativity mechanism, and since this is the best show ever and season 6 is going to take over my life. Having said that, I think things went a little too far on Wednesday.

I went to the bar on campus for open mic and wing night, and proceeded to get hammered. For some reason the bar on campus closes at 1:00 AM, so I ended up going to a different bar at like 12:30 with this girl and her friends. We're making out for a while, and around 2 we decided that we wanted to head back to my place and cook and drink more beer and what not. (sidenote: on the way home she tells me that she's not going to have sex with me. For anyone who's ever heard this little gem-- you know where the story is going. For those who haven't-- let's just say that I've slept with all 4 girls who have used this line on me within the hour.) We make food and then head down to my room and end up naked pretty soon after.

I'm a little fuzzy on the exact details, but she finally decides that she definitely wants me to bang her.
Her- I hope you have a condom.
Me- Fortunately, I have slept with many thousands of women, and thus have a large bag of them at my disposal.
Her- Well you only need one.

Well. I happened to put my thumb directly through the first one somehow. I scramble to find another one, drop it and get it dirty, and throw it while yelling "THE FUCK?" loudly. That's 2. I get a third, with only a minor problem. After fiddling around with rubbers for what seemed like an eternity, GG erection. Well this is stupid. For some reason, the first thought that entered my mind was that The Island just doesn't want me to seal the deal. I start laughing to myself and explain just what exactly is so hilarious, but she doesn't watch LOST so she doesn't get it.

Anyway, once we got that whole mess out of the way, we started back up again. I "didn't" sleep her that night, and I "didn't" sleep with her again the next morning, and I certainly "did not" sleep with her twice more in the afternoon. I love it when girls say silly things about not fucking me.

-Grady