By Bond18 on November 20th, 2007 (more posts by author)

Because I’ve got a flight today at 6:30pm I didn’t play any events yesterday or today. The next event I’ll be playing is the $2500 on the 18th. The last time I was home, or even East of Vegas, was late December in 2006. Perhaps a few days off will be good for me and allow me to cool off for a bit, however, I also hate to break up my groove, and as anyone reading these TR’s can tell I have QUITE the groove going right now.

I will definitely be glad to get out of Vegas for a few days though. Some call Vegas the city of dreams, an illusion of decadence and grandeur in an otherwise barren and desolate wasteland where anything can happen. I think of Vegas as the city of [censored]. Why? Vegas is that magical place where adults go when they need a break from the hum drum of daily life and want to act like a total [censored] idiot for a weekend, week, or however long. The people who show up here decide ahead of time that they’ll “go crazy!!! YEEEEEA!!!” and make good on that declaration, shouting included. Even with the locals it feels like they’re constantly on the hustle or angle shooting and why shouldn’t they be? Rumors fly around of valets and restaurant host’s making 6 figures a year off tip money, so if buttering you up anyway they know how is the best way to get you to fork it over then so be it. The moment anyone in Vegas you don’t know or haven’t been introduced to through a friend begins speaking to you, you should immediately ask yourself “What are they trying to get out of me? What’s their angle?” Here’s some City of [censored] %’s you can use for wagers with your friends:

1. % of time you will be walking through casino and some jackass will scream “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEA!!!” for absolutely no reason, 80%

2. % of time any woman in Vegas who doesn’t have a casinos or restaurants uniform on begins talking to you is a prostitute, 95%

3. % of time you will pay for something common with cash without thinking about it, then a few moments later realize “WTF? I just paid that for THIS!?”, 75%

4. % of time somebody you get friendly or chatty with in the poker room will ask you for loan/stake/help with money, 10%. That reminds me I need to call Steve….

5. % of time women who appear to be in their young 30’s with sunglasses on immediately becoming obviously 45+ without, 40%

6. % of time a pit boss will appear to be hating his job/life through his demeanor, 100%

7. % of time you can find a good meal at 5am, 100%

8. % of time house keeping will wake you up in the morning despite your making it clear to them and the front desk that you sleep in late and the best time to come is the late afternoon, 35%

9. % of time somebody will do something so mind boggling stupid at the live poker table you worry you’ll have an aneurism just watching it, 15%

10. % of time you will find yourself being a total hypocrite about insulting Vegas [censored] when yelling “GREAT SUCCESS!!” like a drunken wanker when you roll a point, 99%

Screw you guys, I’m going home. Back on the 17th for more trip reports with poker included.